The interviewer began to tell me Iām bitter, when I answered her question about why Iām still single. I told her itās a decision I made and one I thought to be better that being in a relationship.
She asked to herself, why is this generation like this? The ānot going to get married yetā generation, she added. The interview then escalated to questions about my love life. It was more scrutinizing than the actual interview questions. I have been a human resources practitioner for 13 years now and I know for a fact that personal questions shouldnāt be this deep.
You see, I donāt really want to discuss my love life (if we can still consider not having one a ālove lifeā). It always makes me feel uncomfortable. I became uneasy with her scrutiny. Did I have previous relationships? she asked. Anyone close to me would know the answer for sure but that answer wouldnāt actually be the same as mine. Have I had romantic relationships? I would say, yes, I do. The caveat is that those I considered relationship is non-committal. I have not introduced them to any friend or family as my so-called boyfriend or lover. Maybe because I am conflicted in introducing them or maybe if I do, it will make it somewhat official. Maybe I am not sure of them to be introduced to the people close to me. Maybe I donāt really want something official. Maybe itās just me.
Going back to my interview, she asked if there was a āboldā thing that I have done.
āWhatās the boldest thing that you have ever done in your life?ā.
I paused. I cannot think of any. If there was, I canāt seem to recall it. I went blank. Is this a Miss Universe Q&A? When she realized the pause, she snapped another question.
āAre you still a virgin?ā
I was taken aback. I was still thinking about what that bold decision was, then she asked me another shocking question.
Why does my virginity had to be discussed? What does the elasticity of my hymen had to do with the job I was applying for?
I gave her an answer. She asked me another question I cannot remember because I was still processing why I entertained that previous question. I should be very mad she asked it but my desperation to get a job won. I have to be very polite and controlled in this situation.
She seemed unsatisfied with me. She then told me, āTell me something about you thatās interesting, cause I donāt find you interesting at all. You answered all my questions so well.ā
I answered your questions so well? You mean the questions you asked that were related to the job Iām aiming for? So, this was a test of character, I thought. What does she really want to know?
Another series of questions went on and she asked about my friends. Scrutinizing as always. I had a feeling she thinks Iām a lesbian because she brought it up.
āI have more gay friends than lesbian friendsā, I told her.
She asked me about my parents and my upbringing. It got me teary-eyed almost to the part of breaking but I controlled my emotions. Taking about my family is a touchy subject. She listened to me though and asked clarifying questions in between.
She told me, āNow I find you interesting.ā
The rest of her words were now floating in my head. I had a feeling this conversation is about to end. I smiled, agreed and nodded. I couldnāt really comprehend the rest when she dismissed the interview. I stayed polite and thanked her for her time. I was a floating Dracula when I went out the room. Couldnāt be happier to leave the office she was in.
I donāt know what happened, if I can get the job or not. If ever I did, would I still want it? Some of her questions were offensive. Did I allow myself to be treated that way? I guess I did.
All I know is that with that conversation, at least I know how to be prepared on my next interviews. I shouldnāt be that inferior next time. Now, I get to learn how to answer shocking interview questions. As an HR practitioner, I have never asked too personal questions to an applicant. The interviewer was much experienced than me, she should have known better. Sheās on her 50s I believe. She was clearly power tripping. She boasted about the companies she holds and can throw people anywhere they fit in those companies. I just donāt understand why some of those questions had to be asked though.
I told myself this is a learning experience and I inhaled into the nose and exhaled to the mouth.
I promised myself it will never happen to me again.
JO and Behold 